26 July 2013


When I watched MTV'S Catfish for the first time I was hooked not for the drama or the conclusion but the stories behind the situation. It became a Normal Routine in my house we crowd around the TV some sit on couches while others choose the floor instead. We would watch in silence at the suspense of someone's life literally unfolding before Our eyes. It has become clear that Social Outlets have made it easier to create another person, Image or Flex In my Trinidad James Voice.

In the Last episode I was able to catch I felt so bad for Framel (r) and why he explained his inital reason for lying about his real identiy. I found myself feeling sad and my Mom even cried (because she's a cry baby) at his heart felt apolology. I can remember seeing Anthony (L) speak about how in love he was with the fake Framel. In a living room full of friends one says "I bet he's fat". I can remember saying the same thing internally. I wanted him to be who he said he was or atleast some skinny pimpled face teen but I didn't want him to be fat. It seems that everyone that is on the  lying end of catfish is always fat and I'm like come on! I know we aren't the only ones lying on the internet.

Self hate is real and I know that now, I for one haven't really had any self hate or low self esteem Issues about my weight. I do however receive emails from some of my younger followers and some are very depressed even suicidal about the bullying, and self hate. I just feel so bad that people aren't happy with themselves so much that would create another life or person. I can remember being ridiculed or people saying to me "you are so confident for your size" or whenever someone would get angry at me it's usually followed with FAT-Bitch. I can remember an ex-lover whenever they would get mad would attack my weight. The names I was called would rock anyone to their core. Only in days later to be apologised to and said sorry but those words still stung. It didn't make me hate myself tho question maybe but never hate. I yearn for the moments when plus size men and women truly love themselves and if they don't make the proper steps to find that love.


Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not supposed to be like anyone else. You are you. You are the only one who can be you. Your perspectives, gifts and value are exclusively yours. You are a unique expression of the divine. Revel in it! If you want something to measure yourself by, compare how you were yesterday to how you are today, and be kind.

Celebrate your successes. Even the small ones. Don't wait to get perfect. Any progress at all is worthy of celebration. When you celebrate, you are telling the universe “I am loving this. Please give me more!” Yay!

Create a list of accomplishments and review it often. We tend to get overwhelmed looking at what’s left to be done and forget to give ourselves credit for how far we’ve already come.

Allow yourself to be where you are. Just feel whatever you are feeling, without judging it or judging yourself for feeling it. Let go of the story you have created around it and just be with the feeling. Embrace it. Explore it. Feel it. All any feeling wants is to be felt fully. This can only be done when you let go of your resistance to feeling it, which is kept in place by the story and the judgment around it. Without the story and the labels, feelings are inherently neutral. Feel the feeling fully, then just let it dissolve.

Real self esteem is something that comes from deep down, consciously or unconsciously. Self confidence comes from accepting your imperfections, limitations and things that cannot be changed. Know that you are precious because you are a creation by God.



  1. i feel like that everytime i watch Catfish. First i thought it was funny, then it became sad that it was these people who hated themselves so much that they hid behind a screen and got into a relationship with someone they could never be truthful to. i wish after the catfish show it was counseling giving to them because they need it!

    Love your blog, please continue!

  2. What a great post with some even greater tips/suggestions. It's sad that people project their insecurities onto other and feel like they can whatever they like to a person who is overweight.

    Hopefully some of the people who've written you read this and understand!

    Confessions Of A City Girl / Enerjiee

  3. I think it's so upsetting that fat people are the main "catfishers" on this show. It really speaks volumes on how our society perceives beauty.

  4. Great post! I have found women to be the most judgemental towards my being fat. They can cut you to the core. I worry so much about teen bullying and the horrors of what women, especially teens, are up against.


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