HOT TOPIC: IS HE OUT OF MY LEAGUE OR IS IT LOW SELF ESTEEM?






Hello Loves!


I know I know I have been missing and I do miss blogging which is why I am here today blogging my little heart away. I receive loads of emails from my followers asking advice from hair to relationship advice. I love the fact that my followers feel comfortable to talk to me about the inner most secret thoughts.




Which brings me today's HOT TOPIC: IS HE OUT OF MY LEAGUE?







Reader Meagan Writes:


Hi Afatgirlsblues,

I know this may seem weird that I'm writing you for advice but I honestly don't want to talk to my friends about this. I figured you could share this with other plus size women and I can get a true and honest answer. I really  like this guy at my job, he comes in everyday smiles at me with the prettiest teeth in his Italian suit and I melt. He is the boss not my boss but the guy that when he walks in everyone runs and scatters and attempts to look like they're working.

I thought it was weird he made eye contact with me a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to talk over coffee. I turned red and denied his request out of fear I would mess up and couldn't take it back. I really cancelled because I feel because I'm fat and he's fit, I'm older and he's younger, he's the boss and I'm just a temp. from a agency. I really want to know can a man be out of your league or am I just insecure?


My Two Cents;

Well Meagan I think definetly you are having some self esteem issues. You are saying a man is out of your league because you are fat and he is fit is not a proper validaton for rejection. He obviously sees something in you that you aren't quit seeing yourself. No one is "out of your league" you just have to value yourself. I say go out for that coffee and just enjoy his company and see where it goes. 

xoxo
afatgirlsblues



WHY I SAID NO TO "VSG" (GASTRIC SURGERY)

WHY I SAID NO TO "VSG" 
(GASTRIC SURGERY)


Yes.....I have heard all the rave reviews of the VSG surgery I grin trying not to appear annoyed with my Nutritionist. She smiles and explains everyone is doing it and yes my health insurance company will foot the bill If I choose to do so. I politely decline her offer to set me up for a consultation with one of Miami's best surgeons. She look confused, Why would a Plus Size woman that can get a 10k surgery for free not do it.

I guess that's what my co-workers think as well when seeing me uniformed, well pressed, and plus size. In my career things come in waves. It was just last year everyone was having Tummy Tucks and Butt Implants. I guess this year is the wave of Gastric Bypass. When asked by Co-Workers why I say no to VSG surgery my answer is always simple: I've haven't REALLY tried.


So let me me enlighten you on what VSG surgery is exactly.



The  procedure generates weight loss solely through gastric restriction (reduced stomach volume). The stomach is restricted by stapling and dividing it vertically and removing more than 85% of it. This part of the procedure is not reversible. The stomach that remains is shaped like a very slim banana and measures from 1-5 ounces (30-150cc), depending on the surgeon performing the procedure. The nerves to the stomach and the outlet valve (pylorus) remain intact with the idea of preserving the functions of the stomach while drastically reducing the volume. By comparison, in a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, the stomach is divided, not removed, and the pylorus is excluded. The Roux-en-Y gastric bypass stomach can be reconnected (reversed) if necessary. Note that there is no intestinal bypass with this procedure, only stomach reduction.  The lack of an intestinal bypass avoids potentially costly, long term complications such as marginal ulcers, vitamin deficiencies and intestinal obstructions.


Now I do understand that everyone has different reasons for gastric surgery i.e. health. I however feel as If I have never really tried to loose weight, I mean I start off great with eating healthy and exercising but being totally honest that last literally a week or two. I hear all great things about VSG surgery but my sister has become my real inspiration. I have watched her change her diet  and exercise daily to great results. When she walks into my home and I see her smile  I know that she's happy with her results. She has blossomed into a beautiful butterfly.


I know that it's possible to loose a 100 pounds naturally and My sister is living proof of that. It was her determination that drove her to loose weight to conceive my niece. It was that same determination that pushed her to loose the baby weight  and more. When seeing her I know that I really have to give weight loss the natural way a try before I can lay on a table and be cut. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I never really gave it a try before turning to a doctor.


My sister has learned how to cook differently and is ever so eager to show me her new recipes. I never knew you could make mashed potatoes out of cauliflower. It is these moments that I admire my sister the most. She is the reason I will wake up everyday for the next 6 months and really give it a good try.



I will be a open book with my journey and of course I will use my secret weapon aka my big sister!

Follow Her On IG!
@hernamechinab



AMAZING DENIM AFFORDABLE PRICE



As Spring and Summer creeps in Denim will become more of a staple in my wardrobe. I am loving brands like Eloquii and Steve Madden who are stepping out side the box of the basic denim jacket. It's extremely versatile and can be dressed up or down for any occasion from grunge to hobo chic.













BATTLE OF THE JUMPERS
ASOS VS 17SUNDAYS



I have been dreaming of the day that  a tasteful denim jumper was created for the curvy women. This Summer both ASOS and 17 Sundays have granted my wish.



I have ranted forever how much I love jumpsuits and today will be no different. I'm a bit skeptical about purchasing a jumpsuit  because I am very bottom heavy and have fear that the jumpsuit will look to snug in my hip area.

I have reviewed the fabric and sizing details and have decided that if I ordered, I will go up a size just to be safe. In the event you have to return an item  always look at the return policy and be sure to try on clothing as soon as they arrive. I have been a victim of letting return deadline expire and getting stuck with clothing I actually don't love. 












City Chic Floral Denim Jacket







Edgy Denim




ASOS



SWITCH IT UP: THREE SPRING FLORAL LOOKS





It's Official we are in Spring! I honestly forget the seasons living here in Miami but I always notice the change in the prints and hues in our retail stores. I noticed during Fashion Week that Dark Florals we're a huge trend. I guess we are doing away with looking like a picnic table with bright hues of yellow and red this spring.


ART OR FOOLISHNESS?



Just when I think we have made strides in our field I'm taken aback by what society thinks of the plus size community.  If you ever wanted to see your favorite celeb or socialite depicted as plus size Spanish artist David Lopera has done just that.  In his latest collection he has created images of celebs from Kim K to Katy Perry sporting his interpretation of a plus size celeb.  When I initially heard of the art I was intrigued and of course I went trolling the Internet for the images.

PHOTO: DAVID LOPERA/NEWS DOG MEDIA/DAVID LOPERA/NEWS DOG MEDIA

Rita Ora

GIRL TALK: DID YOU KNOW SHE PHOTOSHOPS HER PICTURES?




Did You know She Photo Shops her pictures? One of my favorite gal pals smirks while reaching for her smart phone. I must admit when having girl talk you never really know how you get on a subject or person for that matter. In hours of talking fashion, love, business, etc.nothing is off limits when chatting with girlfriends.

I waited as she scanned threw her phone for evidence of a bad photo shopped picture. In minutes there it was a extreme blurred wavy wall on her silhouette to make her waist drastically  smaller. I wanted it not to be true  I silently rooted for her just because so many girls look up to her on social media. What can you do when the truth is staring you in the face and photo after photo it become more apparent that she was altering her figure often and poorly.

(photo of plus size women made skinny via photoshop)

We no longer have to purchase programs for hundreds of dollars to make drastic changes to our photos. There are apps that are virtually free and easy to use that can create the same effect. I just wonder why some plus size woman are yearning to better proportioned  and not working with what they have. 
We are not all shaped the same and a hourglass figure will not be every ones shape. I wonder how many of us are hiding behind filters and face shots to avoid our bodies. The purpose of  body acceptance is accepting all parts of our bodies not just some. 

I see plus size women up and down my timeline hiding behind face shots, booty shots and the infamous huge purse to hide their stomach. I'm not saying lets all throw away our spanx but let us at least acknowledge we have a tummy or thighs that touch. 


So how do you feel about extremely altered pictures are they deceiving or it's okay to edit out what you don't like on your body?

LACE ALL OVER THE PLACE :SPRING 2015 TREND






Lace is a fabric that I wore for the first time 5 yrs ago and boy did I do it extremely provocative and wrong. I can remeber wearing these full lace leggings paired with a semi lace shirt and black boy shorts. I really went threw a raunchy phase in my early 20's. The looks and stares that night when  I entered into our local nightclub here in Miami. In time my style has progressed and I've grown to understand lace can be classy and chic.


Perhaps you feel lace is too small girlish petty to wear clothing with taste, personality and sexy because it looks sweet. In fact, the female stars wearing lace often steal the spotlight on solemn occasions. Lace is easy to wear always, women at different ages can all find out lace dresses which is suitable for them. There's no limit in wearing lace, and it's the combination of sweet, tender, mature and sexy. Whether as embellishment or the whole dress decoration, with proper use of lace decorative effect, lace will surely make you bloom refreshing scent of a woman.




In 2015 lace will be epic and can be seen in just about every single one of your favorite retail stores. I happened  to wear a black lace 2pc crop top set from Monif C a few weeks back and everyone loved it. It was  out for stock at the time but recently has been restocked and new colors have been added. I must admit I felt sexy but not too overly exposed. The fabric was rich and made with good quality fabric. Making sure lace fabric is extremely important when picking out a lace ensemble. If you purchase cheap lace you run the risk of it being very thin and tearing extremely easy when wearing.


I purchased this set in a size 2 which is equivalent to US 18/20 I wish I would have purchashed the skirt in a size 1 for a for more fitted look. The crop top has this hi-low effect to it and covered my entire back  so I didn't suffer from that completely bare look. I paired the lace outfit with a black deep plunge bra from Lane Bryant. In the event you would like to wear another shade of this lace ensemble I suggest a nude colored bra close to your skin tone. I would definitely suggest you  refrain from attempting to match your  outfit color with your bra. I paired the outfit with a pair of metallic heels from Aldo and a simple bright red Gucci Bag.


 If you would like to purchase this look feel free to head over to MONIF C