CONFESSIONS OF A FAT GIRL........

Did he just say date? Now I don't want to jump the broom maybe he had a business proposal for me. I mean I have been putting in extra work hoping that it wouldn't go unseen. What should I wear  a dress maybe a pants suit yep for sure. This man was standing her in front of me smelling great and looking better and asking me for a date. Lips slightly parting my lips and a little below a whisper I polietly accepted his request for dinner. In two days I will be seeing Mr.Cage outside of work and the thoughts or the what if ran threw my mind. As smoothly as he came he was gone just as silent while my world had suddendly been torn upside. where would he pick me up? I had given him no address or telephone number that matter. I immediately found myself leaping from my seat and enroute to his office. I found him standing at the door way to his massive office I didn't want to seem to desperate.

"you don't have my info"

"2452 summer terrace" he smiled

"....but how" confused was an understatment

" Mrs. Reid I own the company it's my job and If I'm truly interested in a Woman I do my homework"

That statement confirmed that this was no business date we would no be talking about anything work related. The dress was a definite and now I found myself back at my desk searching Torrid, Asos, Ashely Stewart and any other plus size site I could think of at the time. I was willing to pay $28.00 for overnight. A plus size woman doesn't have the luxury of waiting until the last minute to find a outfit. I need weeks sometimes months to find a perfect dress or lingere. This would be well worth it and besides I haven't been on a date in God Knows how long. Nicole and Tasha were sitting on my desk upon my return just waiting to hear the details. I have never been one to tell my business especially to other women because lord knows how that may go. This was the first time I actually had something worth talking about and to be honest it felt great!

" soooooooooooooooooooooooooo" tasha grinned her mouth was watering

"what" I knew exactly what she was trying to get to

"you know what she's talking about" Tasha butted her way in

" Well I'm to busy looking for something to wear I don't have time for the gossip" beaming with happiness

"Omgggggggggggggggggggg" they both jumped in unison Tasha put her caller on hold and Nicole had actually unplugged her earphones.

For two hours they helped me look for outfits Tasha even agreed to give me some fly natural look she saw in hype hair. Nicole was looking up natural make up tutorials on youtube and it was a group effort  and somehow it felt great. Work was over and I headed over to Shaq 24 hour fitness for a quick hip hop spin class. I looked forward to those days I was able to unwind and just really be myself. The gym used to be depressing I swear. There I was thinking it was about exercise and health until I witnessed half naked women walking around attempting to attract the men and boy did it work. Only in Miami where women went to the gym with there hair done and a face full of make up. I have grown to accept my body and the things I can't change. Two days had come and gone so fast it felt like it was just yesterday. I was ready and I might say I was feeling very sexy. I choose a black lace bra with matching boy short from Lane Bryant It was something about boy shorts that made my butt feel and look so big. Everyone knows a nice ass can take you places in the right dress. I received a boquet of yellow roses today with the note that read these flowers are beautiful but they got nothing on you. I don't know what I did to deserve this attention but I thank God I did it.

Work was over and I was preparing myself for tonight Ledisi was blasting threw my speakers my glass was filled with wine. I actually prepared a small salad to eat before my dinner it was something that I always seemed to do on first date. I think every woman appears shy when first meeting someone for me eating was a major issue.  It was a trick that my grandmother used to always make my mother do when I was growing up. I can remember following my mother around the house reminding her to eat something before her date arrived. I took that little trick along with me I guess out of habit. My grandmother was about 4'11 a buck ten with shoulder length blue black hair. She loved that color it was like it was her little secret at first glance it was black with a touch of light or sun the blue would appear. She prided herself on her figure up until her death she would get up in the morning do her make up and even as a house wife dress up as if she had somewhere to go.

Me and My mother never spoke about weight or health for that matter but I think my grandmother made it clear how she felt. She would pick at other women my mothers size call  them all kinds of names under her breath and although she never said it My Mom knew she was ashamed. I could remember after my mom divorced and my grandmother had come to stay with us after my grandfather passed. My mother exited her room in a form fitting floor length sequinced dressed I thought she looked like an angel. She pranced around the living room giving me and sisters a view of her outfit. It was her first date in 7 yrs.

"mama you are beautiful" my sister squilled

No sooner my grandmother came out of room to find my mother standing there in all her glory of 265lbs and confident. "where the hell do you think you going in that dress?" 

" on a date ma" their eyes met

"I hope to hell not you can see all of your rolls in the back a man don't want to see your damn rolls" she chuckled loudly

"well guess what ma this man does and when he met me they were showing so guess what he better get him some butter and enjoy"

My Mom had the confidence of any woman 10 sizes smaller then her and I think that's what men loved so much about her. She knew she was fat and didn't give a damn who thought so or tried to hide it. She was fat and in your face and fab take it or leave that shit at the door is what she would say. My grandmother never understood how she could be so proud of her mishaped hips and pertruding belly. She put my mother on diets growing up only to find receipts of fast food restaurants. she was the captain of her schools varsity cheerleading squad and almost every jock on the football team secretly enjoyed her ample breast during half time but wouldn't admit it. So why was she still FAT and happy? My grandmother would never understand on her dying bed she encouraged my mother to loose weight if she ever wanted to find a husband to love her. ten years later my mother was still fat and happily married to of all things a doctor who specialiaze in gastro procedures  like lap band , gastric bypass  and the sleeve procedure. Although Fat had given him success a nice home and money in the bank he loved fuller women and my mother was the entire package isn't that ironic a doctor who makes ppl smaller wants and loves  his woman bigger.

we have 8 o'clock reservations it was 7:30 and I had just buzzed him the gate I could feel the butterflies coming now. should I hug him? maybe a handshake is more appropriate definetly hand shake. This back and forth thing went on and on until I could hear the knock at my door. I slowly walked the door allowing him to knock on the door again. Never answer on the first knock is another one of my grandmother philospies about men that I actually applied. To my suprise it wasn't him instead he had sent his driver for me. I was somewhat disappointed it felt so informal but I smiled and went with the flow of things.

" Mrs.Reid I presume" taking his hat off

" Yes how may I help you" half intrigued at this point

" Mr.Cage has sent me retrieve you do yo have any plants or pets" attempting to look over my shoulder

"No what kind of question is that"

"you will need identification where you are going do you have any?"

searching threw my purse I found both my I.D. and passport " This is all I have"

"All is well then follow me"

"what requires Id"

He never answered my question he opened the door to a black range rover sport and presumed to drive. we were on the 836 and I could clearly see Miami International Airport in the distance. The area was host to great restaurants I'm sure he picked out a great one. I noticed We were entering into the airport was he just arriving from a business trip? Maybe we should have rescheduled. I could see him standing at the entrance of Air France. He had no bags just a great smile and a handfull of flowers tulips this time. I exited the car and embraced him fully wrapping his hands around my waist I slightly kissed his cheek. it's like it just came naturally and he didn't stop me which was a clear sign of it being okay to do so.

"why are we here" looking around the airport

he quickly checked his watch and stated "we're going to late let's go" he grabbed my hand and proceeded inside of airport. I was so confused was there a restaurant in here I was dressed up heels and all running threw a airport with the owner of my company like it was normal.  after several turns and stops and questions to tsa staff. we were at gate d16 I watched him as he reached into his pockets and presented them to lady at the gate. we were on first class flight to paris france with no baggae but the clothes on our backs and didn't know what I was doing. I have never done anything like this for a flight to paris I saw no other passengers while entering the plane it became clear that we were the passengers the entire plane was empty and acutally customized with the intials GC for glen cage. I turned to him to look into his face for anwers. I had so many questions that  I needed answered and all he could say is " I did my homework Mrs.Reid"
-------------------------------------------------THATS IT UNTIL NEXT WEEK----------------------------------


DISCUSSION: HOW HARD IS IT FOR YOU TO FIND ITMES?
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GYM ISSUE?

13 comments :

  1. OMG I love these post! I mean this week is really a cliff hanger...can't wait to read next weeks post! Love the blog by the way!!!!

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  2. Wow this had me glued to the computer

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  3. I agree with Carissa. I would say that it's challenging to find items. I think it has to do with having to try things on and not being sure if online purchases are going to fit. When it comes to the gym I was just like the character of your story. I would be so self-conscious, but I had to keep in mind that I'm not there for anyone but me!

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  4. If I was a mall shopper I'd definitely say it would be hard for me to find trendy items in my size but I'm an online shopping addict and anytime I see ANYTHING hot that I think will fit I order it (don't ask me how much I spend a month on clothes I don't even wanna know) I buy outfits months in advance for events so I can have a plethora of choices when the event comes around. Right now I want a polka dot blazer so bad I can taste it!!!

    As far as the gym I don't but mainly b/c I'm in MS where a lot of women are bigger so overweight people in the gym is sadly the norm.....

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  5. I so love this post. I'm.ready for next week. It's hard for me to find things because I hate the mall. Every time I go to the mall o end up buying things fory son and all I get is.a slushey from the food court. When I shop online I don't know How to pick a few things I buy everything I like, and I end up broke. Lol.

    I never have gym issue because I go there with one thing on my mind : one dress size smaller.

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  6. Wow. Truly a cliff hanger. Enjoyed it!

    http://www.fabellis.com

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  7. Omg..im sooooo excited....i love your posts

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  8. Oh Me, Oh My!! I am in such suspense!! LOL..I NEED MORE!! Just reading your story makes me want to be Ms.Reid..Can we get these twice a week!! Friday only comes once!! LOL

    Dreek

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  9. hey i just came across your blog a couple of weeks ago and been following you ever since love your posts i agree with dreek can we have the story twice a week i feel like im reading a mary monroe book......plus i stay in miami gardens is that thrift store you shopped at in north miami?

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  10. tharjye it's the one of Miami Gardens drive I go to the one on pines most of the time. you live so close yayyyyy i'm thinking doing a thrift day so feel free to hit me up on fb!

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  11. Hay hay that what im talking bout sure well sweety thanks for the info have to check that one out always pass by or be so near an never stop thanks again!

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  12. girl,do i have to wait til next week..you got me all into it like its me in the story..lol

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