21 March 2018

LIFE: Advice

Time has a way of moving so fast before you know it you look up and ten years have passed. After seeing many of my followers participate in the #pubertychallenge on social media it really got me to thinking. What would I tell my 20 year old self if I had the chance to do it all over again. It wasn't easy narrowing it down because I have made so many mistakes like any other human being but these are my top 5 things I would tell myself.

1.  Build Friendships and Don't focus on a Relationship so Much

I have been in relationships since I can remember and I'm not talking about little quick and done in a few months relationships. The better part of my 20's were spent focusing on a relationship doing the whole back and forth thing. If I could tell my 20 year self anything it would be to build solid and healthy friendships. In my opinion relationships end but best friends will always be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. My best friend name was Krystal and I just remember getting into a relationship and everything seemed to end. Our girls nights and lunches became less and less frequent. When distance plays a part it's kind of hard to just  pick up the pieces when you haven't spoken to a person in weeks and sometimes even months. I had missed birthdays and major milestones in her life. It's one of the things I really hate I let happen. You can't loose yourself in a relationship and forget about everyone else. Isolating myself with my partner left me with only one dimension and no outlet. 

2. Invest in Your Dreams 

It took my awhile to understand the purpose of Investing in myself I was always the person pushing others, pouring into their ideas and goals. When it came to myself I was a bit scared to invest in my own dreams and ideas because I thought I would fail.  In time I have learned to trust the process and anything you do can be successful with hard work. I am at a point in my life If people don't see my vision I have no problem doing it myself and reaping the benefits of my success alone.

3. Travel More and Buy Less Designer

I have spent plenty of time in Gucci and buying bags when I could have been traveling the world. In time you realize somethings are priceless. I try to travel 2 to 3 times a year even if it's a 2 day trip I make the most of it. I went New Orleans for exactly one day (I found a deal $70 RT) and it was amazing and spontaneous and I will remember it for the rest of my life. I love designer just like the next girl but now I have an idea of what spending 2k on a bag feels like and I can honestly say sitting on a beach in Hawaii is much more appealing at this point in my life. Now you don't have to write off purchasing designer items consignment stores are a good way to have the best of both worlds.

4. Take Your Career Seriously

I was 19 years old when I applied to be a Correctional Officer and had no idea it was more than just a "job" but a flourishing career. I mean most kids my age were in college have drunk spring breaks and I was locked in a prison for 8 hours a day. I spent sometime being undecided on what I wanted to do and before you know it years had passed before my eyes. It took over 10 years in my career to advance to a Supervisory Position because I was so comfortable with having the weekends off and a set schedule. I watched people with half the experience or years advance and climb the ladder. I realized that I was in Law Enforcement to stay and made the decision to dedicate myself to becoming a Supervisor. I wish I could tell my 20 year old self to hit the books earlier because a being in Law Enforcement was definitely not a job but a career!

5 Forgive and Move On!

I had a hard time getting over things and honestly I still do sometimes. I spent a lot of time and energy being angry and disappointed with people. In all honesty it only hurt me in the end I would let a persons presence effect my energy and my peace of mind. I confused forgiving someone with forgetting their actions. I didn't want to appear fake or phony smiling in someones face who I knew wasn't my favorite person in the world. I think it's healthy to forgive people it doesn't make you soft or a push over. It made me human and cleared up alot of space in my mind and heart. When people disappoint me now or become shady trees I just keep it pushing. The old confrontational me is gone (she does make appearances from time to time lol) and it honestly feels good. I can remember when people would gossip or make up stories about me. I would be so hurt and angry and felt a need to address it. I have grown now and I simply ignore it and accept the fact that people will let me down they will lie on me and to me, it's a part of life and I am not 

So let me hear it? what would you tell your 20 year old self?



  1. Great read! Invest in your dreams is definitely the #1 thing I would tell myself. I’m my own worst critic and the best hype wo-man I know when it comes to others and neglect my aspirations. Those people pleasing days have come to a screeching halt! Thanks for sharing!

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